Inner Peace

In the lives of the Angel family, there is never a dull moment. The sentence I just completed is a complete understatement. The last month has been riddled with job loss, illness, death, travel, and the mundane. Logan got an excellent report at school. Including the behavioral portion. I am absolutely thrilled. I know he is incredibly advanced academically, but the social piece always concerns me. I nearly did a victory dance. I might still.

In the midst of the chaos, I search to find God's peace. You know the kind, the "Philippians 4" peace that passes understanding. I have had a lot of opportunity to look at this peace in the last couple of months. Financially, we should be in ruins. God has sustained and provided. I knew He would. I know He intends to continue that provision.

As Christians, we learn very early on that "... in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 I believe Aric and I are walking in his purpose. I believe that God will bless us for that. What I also believe is that we are not "special". God has not guarded us from the conflict of sin because we are his people. He does, however, guard our hearts. He does offer peace in the turbulence.

As I said before, I have had a long time to think on this peace concept. The more I think on it, the more I have come to believe that the peace of God and complete denial are sisters in the same family. Not really. I say that somewhat tongue in cheek. Somewhat. What I do know is this, I am a worrier by nature. Worry is usually my first response when things don't go as planned. The past few months, God has allowed me to deny my thoughts of worry. He has brought about a peace that truly surpasses any understanding that I might typically fall to. I am by nature, and by God's design, someone who likes to compartmentalize, plan, and organize. This includes my thoughts. In the past few months, whenever I feel myself starting to drift in the sea of "what-ifs", God has brought other things to mind. A million years ago, in another lifetime, a couple came to our church to sing. One of their songs said (and taken loosely from John 14) "Don't let your hearts be troubled, trust in the Lord. No need to fear tomorrow, trust in the Lord. For he has new things, for those who wait on Him. So, don't let your hearts be troubled, trust in the Lord." A million years ago, God planted a seed in my heart. He knew that my broken heart is spoken to through song. He knew that in 2014-2015, I would need to recall those words in order to restore the peace that He had for me.

I am thankful that not only has God given me the peace that he promises, and allowed me to deny the fear/anxiety that often creeps up, but he has also provided for my family during this time. When Aric needed to replace the front tires on the car, he provided a job that paid almost the exact amount we needed. I am thankful that even though Aric isn't working, we have been able to keep our kids in their programs. I am thankful that He has provided cheap entertainment and moments of joy in a time that could be considered grueling.

So while the life of the Angels is never dull, I am ok with that. I know that he is using, shaping, and molding each of us in the direction of His choosing. I am not afraid, but am excited to see what new things He has in store for us.