My husband

I have the greatest husband in the world. I am sure there are others who feel the same way, but they're wrong. I kid. Yesterday was a morning to go in the record books. After nearly no sleep I erupted into what I will call a "abstract interpretive dance". In reality, I threw a tantrum. I was mad because both of my boys kept me up nearly all night. I was irritated because I could hear my husbands "soft" snoring. I was anxious because we are in the process of a lot of change which scares me. I was overwhelmed because the household chores and everyday tasks are looming. After no sleep, I snapped. Aric responded.
At first, Aric's response was not so pleasant. Mine wouldn't have been either. I stormed through the house begrudgingly cleaning at 4:00 AM. I silently told myself that I was going to just leave. Aric could find child care. Aric could deal with the stress of the housework. I insisted to myself that I had been violently insulted. How dare he!
After a while I decided that I wasn't going to just leave without having my say. I went up to the room, but on the way there, something happened. God spoke to my heart. A calmness overcame me. I realized that I needed to let Aric know how I was feeling, but not in an offensive manner. There is not one person in this world who will respond well to being attacked.
I went into the room and told Aric that we needed to talk. I began to sob and tell him all of the things that were on my mind. I unloaded all of the stressors that were haunting me. Aric wrapped me in his warm embrace and told me he was sorry and that everything would be ok.
He was sorry? That's right. My husband apologized after I acted like a two year old. If that isn't humbling, I don't know what is. To top it off, he brought me dinner that night so that I could relax and not have to cook. Awwww! Right?!
The thing is, this is typical. My husband has been known to throw his fits too, but most of the times he acts as a defuser. I explode and he picks up the pieces. He tells me that I will be ok. He tells me that everything will be just fine. He picks up the slack that I have been tripping over. He is patient, compassionate, and understanding. I couldn't have asked for a better man.

Joys of my life

There is nothing that brings me joy more than the smiles and giggles from my boys. OK, maybe that is an exaggeration, but you understand. I love when I tickle Gavin and he breaks out in that full belly, throaty laugh. It is contagious. Once Gavin starts laughing, everyone in the household laughs. Logan usually wants in on the action. At this point, he either wants to be tickled too, or he wants to tickle his brother. He likes to make him laugh.
Lately, Logan has been a source of laughter. He is just learning the arts of communication and humor. We were out and about the other day when Logan and Aric had a conversation that made us all laugh. It went something like this:
Logan, "Deah-yee" , Aric, "What?" , Logan, "Deah-yee" , Aric, "What?" , Logan, "Deah-yee" , Aric, "What?" , Logan, "Deah-yee" , Aric, "Logan" , Logan, "What?"

It made me laugh. Then today I smashed my finger in a door. While that was not a laughing matter, the conversation that followed was. It went something like this:
(Mommy nearly jumping up and down trying not to curse)
Logan, "Happen, Mah-nee?", "Happen?"
Me, "Mommy smashed her finger and got a bad owie."
Logan, "es OK Mah-nee.", "OK, Happy Mah-nee".
I couldn't help but chuckle. In my mind I was saying, "If only." Yet, at the same time, it gave me something to think about. Maybe it is that simple. Maybe we should just choose to be happy. Maybe when the bible talks about becoming like children, this is part of it. Children show their happiness and joy without reserve. So maybe, in this world where we are surrounded by grief and distress, it is ok to be "Happy Mah-nee". It is ok to look at the blessings and focus on the positive.
Now, I am not talking about shoving your emotions away and disregarding true feelings. I'm not. What I am saying is that even when things are not perfect, we can still choose joy. We can, in hard circumstances, choose to look to the small blessings that are around us. That being said, this Mah-nee (Mommy) is going to choose happy.

Finally Brothers

At last! The day has finally come. When I first had my second son, I wasn't sure I would make it. Logan had an obvious distain toward this new being in our house. I couldn't leave them alone without fear of some form of toddler torture taking place. Logan did his best to make his brother feel unwelcome.

I guess Gavin passed the hazing though. Logan has begun to interact with Gavin, and vice versa. They look at eachother from their high chairs and just laugh and laugh. Logan searches the living room to find toys to place in Gavin's lap. Gavin, coincidentally, is making no effort to crawl. Why should he when he has his brother at his beck and call? There is even hugging. Logan can hardly go to bed most days without giving "bwudder" a hug.

That's what he calls Gavin, "bwudder". If you tell him to call him Gavin, he says, "No, bwudder". If Logan and I go upstairs, he gets insistent that we take bwudder with us. He says, "Bwudder, come on" or "Bwudder go". Heaven forbid we should leave the house without him.

I am elated. I can finally sit back and take a deep breath. I am not fooling myself into believing that there will never be conflict. Far from it. It does bring me joy, however, to know that my boys are becoming friends. I look forward to watching them grow, both as brothers, and as friends.