Life Goal

I have finally decided what I want to be in life...A BEAR...Yes, you are reading that correctly. As summer approaches and the many sleepless nights accumulate, the idea of hibernation becomes more and more appealing, once again, jealously ensues. This thought is not unique to me. Bears have it made. They get to eat all they want. The larger they are, the better. Six months out of the year is designated to sleep. While they are sleeping they give birth to walnut sized children. Speaking of their children, if anyone tries to harm them, it is not only acceptable, however it is expected that bears will annihilate anyone that comes near them. People understand and consent that bears are going to wake up grouchy and hungry. Above and beyond this, if anyone even so much as violates the general vicinity of a bear, they can assume they will be attacked. Why? Because it's a bear. Yes. This is why I have fully decided that I would rather be a bear.

Go Ceilings!

Reliving the holidays...
I had a moment of lucidity today when I began printing out paper that was to be pinned to myself and declared a costume. It was then that I realized that I really could care less about the holidays this year. Now I know that some don't consider halloween a "real" holiday, nonetheless, I typically involve myself in unique, if not crafty, costumes. Most years, I enjoy getting dolled up and entertaining myself in the flow of children that appear at the church for the annual harvest party. Every year I sit at the booth marked "face painting" and wait for children to move toward my chair. A small number of the children know exactly what they covet. The majority of the children, however, approach with some trepidation. When I ask what they want painted, they hesitate as if it is some grand decision. One might think that they are making the decision toward a design that would remain with them for the rest of their lives. When I am done they scuttle off and show everyone as if they have a masterpiece centered on their cheek. The entire process really is amusing.
This year though, I approach the holiday with a melancholy spirit and a laminated piece of paper that says "Go Ceilings". Hopefully some will get the pun and know that I am dressed as a ceiling fan...

It's a girl.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a tap dancing, firefighting ballerina. As I grew older a few more professions joined the pack (teacher, counselor, policewoman, etc...) When in college, I aspired to be a school counselor, teacher, trauma team therapist, etc... As it sits now, I am still undecided. This is why I think that God should have tattooed our destinies on our butts. Then when we came into this world the doctor could flip us over and simply shout...'It's a teacher' or 'It's a lawyer' instead of declaring our gender. The more I think about it though, I would hate to be the parents of the deadbeat burger flipper. Maybe tattoos on our butts are not such a good idea.