I was reading my last post and realizing how incredibly negative it sounded. The truth of the matter is that having two children under the age of two can be quite overwhelming. Everyone I have talked to who have children in similar spans tell me the same thing, "The first nine months are the hardest." Eventually, little Gavin will begin to entertain himself a little more and not be quite so demanding of my attention. Then I can split myself a little more equally.
Having a second child is so different from having your first, for sure. With Logan, I could dedicate every free moment to his every whim. Gavin has been forced to cry a little longer and maybe not had as much snuggle time as Logan had. His contented moments sweep me away to give his brother a little one-on-one time and attention. My biggest fear is that Logan will feel slighted and that Gavin will feel neglected.
My psychology training reminds me that these times will teach patience and waiting. These are good lessons that both my boys need to learn. The mother in me wants to cuddle my boys one on one without limit.
Going back to work has complicated this even more. It's been much harder this time. My time is even further divided between being a mother, wife, and career woman. I know that these moments are only momentary and soon we will find our niche as a family. Until then, I will take a deep breath, count to ten, enjoy the moments we have, and try to focus on the blessings.
