A case of the messies.

Before I got married and had kids, I decorated my house in country decor with a hint of museum. My goal was to make my house look as if no one was living in it. I suppose this was due to my obsessive, compulsive, perfectionistic tendencies. Or maybe it was based on my intense fear of being judged. Perhaps it was motivated by my strong desire to look as if I "had it together". I was the type of person that, had I had a maid, I would have cleaned my house before she got there so that she wouldn't think I was a slob.
I have to say that my son, Logan, who is also a bit "neat" was a breath of fresh air. He didn't like to get dirty, and I didn't like him to get dirty. I believe, now, that God was simply breaking me in to parenting before introducing me to Taz. My second son, Gavin, is the complete opposite of Logan. Everything he does is with gusto. He is as messy as messy can be. Even something as simple as eating breakfast is a full body experience.
The thing is, Gavin is teaching me something. The housework is always there when I need it. It will never go away, but my kids will get older. These opportunities to play and experience things for the first time will fade before I can blink. Gavin has taught me to seize the opportunities that are in front of me and set aside some of my social fears. That's not to say that I don't struggle with the fact that my house is a wreck compared to years gone by, but I am releasing myself from some of the angst associated with it. It is a hard lesson for this OCD-AP (analysis paralysis) mom to learn, regardless, I am slowly coming on board.