I was reading my last post and realizing how incredibly negative it sounded. The truth of the matter is that having two children under the age of two can be quite overwhelming. Everyone I have talked to who have children in similar spans tell me the same thing, "The first nine months are the hardest." Eventually, little Gavin will begin to entertain himself a little more and not be quite so demanding of my attention. Then I can split myself a little more equally.
Having a second child is so different from having your first, for sure. With Logan, I could dedicate every free moment to his every whim. Gavin has been forced to cry a little longer and maybe not had as much snuggle time as Logan had. His contented moments sweep me away to give his brother a little one-on-one time and attention. My biggest fear is that Logan will feel slighted and that Gavin will feel neglected.
My psychology training reminds me that these times will teach patience and waiting. These are good lessons that both my boys need to learn. The mother in me wants to cuddle my boys one on one without limit.
Going back to work has complicated this even more. It's been much harder this time. My time is even further divided between being a mother, wife, and career woman. I know that these moments are only momentary and soon we will find our niche as a family. Until then, I will take a deep breath, count to ten, enjoy the moments we have, and try to focus on the blessings.
Angel Family
101010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Rubix Cubes and loves
My husband and I have entered a spot in life that I, as a teenager, said I would never be in. We have two children under the age of two. My boys are almost exactly 19 months apart. We didn't exactly plan it that way, but that is where we are in life. While I was pregnant, I worried about how Logan would adjust to having to share our attention. Turns out my worry was somewhat justified. He is not too fond of the idea.
Logan, who is currently 21 months old, has begun to enter the terrible two phase of life. He likes to throw things. Most often his intended target is his little brother. If they were two years older I probably wouldn't give it much thought, but when your almost two year old chucks a rubix cube at your newborn's head, it gives you a moments pause. In reality, it infuriates me. I have tried everything in the book to get him to stop hitting and/or throwing things at his brother.
People have told me that I should focus more on the positive behaviors he is exibiting. That's a great plan if he would actually do something positive. People say to ignore the behavior. Again, difficult when your other child's soft spot is in jeopardy. Yes, my nearly two has impeccable aim. Others have said that I should include my eldest and encourage him to help with the baby. I tried that. It usually looks something like tickle, tickle, squeeze, *smack* *smack*. Aarg!
To be fair, in the midst of this chaos, there are glimpses of love and protection that shine through Logan's demeanor toward his brother. He is slowly getting used to the idea of having Gavin in the house. Gavin seems to be adjusting into a happy, smiley baby. I keep telling myself that the first nine months are the hardest. When this phase is over, I know they will be the best of friends. At least that is what people tell me and I repeat it to myself daily.
For now, we are trying to spend as much valuable time with Logan, one on one, as we can. Hopefully, he will not feel jilted when this phase of life is over. It is my hope that, as time passes, my boys will feel equally loved and cherished. They truly are blessings from God even when they stretch me to my limits.
Logan, who is currently 21 months old, has begun to enter the terrible two phase of life. He likes to throw things. Most often his intended target is his little brother. If they were two years older I probably wouldn't give it much thought, but when your almost two year old chucks a rubix cube at your newborn's head, it gives you a moments pause. In reality, it infuriates me. I have tried everything in the book to get him to stop hitting and/or throwing things at his brother.
People have told me that I should focus more on the positive behaviors he is exibiting. That's a great plan if he would actually do something positive. People say to ignore the behavior. Again, difficult when your other child's soft spot is in jeopardy. Yes, my nearly two has impeccable aim. Others have said that I should include my eldest and encourage him to help with the baby. I tried that. It usually looks something like tickle, tickle, squeeze, *smack* *smack*. Aarg!
To be fair, in the midst of this chaos, there are glimpses of love and protection that shine through Logan's demeanor toward his brother. He is slowly getting used to the idea of having Gavin in the house. Gavin seems to be adjusting into a happy, smiley baby. I keep telling myself that the first nine months are the hardest. When this phase is over, I know they will be the best of friends. At least that is what people tell me and I repeat it to myself daily.
For now, we are trying to spend as much valuable time with Logan, one on one, as we can. Hopefully, he will not feel jilted when this phase of life is over. It is my hope that, as time passes, my boys will feel equally loved and cherished. They truly are blessings from God even when they stretch me to my limits.
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